Monday, October 5, 2009

5 months

5 months ago today, life as I knew it changed.  The days are a little easier, but the thoughts are always there. I miss her more and more every day and some days the thoughts of missing her so crippling.

I'm doing better since I've been consistently taking my Zoloft every day. I was getting forgetful and not taking it every day like I should, which is what caused my meltdown two weeks ago. But, I'm better now. I think.

Still not sure where we stand on the trying to conceive thing. I have thoughts of talking about it with him and then something always holds me back. I want a baby so bad but I'm terrified. Completely 100% terrified.

5 months has gone by since the moment I found out Audrey was dead...... and I can't even believe it. I should have a newborn right now but instead, I'm about to make the call to find out that status on her headstone and when it will be placed.

*sigh*

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