Tuesday, August 25, 2009

3 years old

My baby, My girl, The love of my life is 3 years old today! Addison Renee entered this world on August 25th, 2006 at 11:41 am.

She has saved my life in ways I can never express to her. Losing her little sister destroyed me, broke me, and just tore my life into shreds and there will always be a missing piece of my heart that I can never heal, but Addison..... she saved me. She is my reason for getting out of bed every day and she is my reason for "moving forward" with my life. If I didn't have her, I don't know where I'd be today.

That little baby became 3 years old in what seems like the blink of an eye. This birthday has been very bittersweet for me.... not only because she's turning 3 years old today but also because it reminds me that Audrey's due date is coming closer. She was due 9/9/09 - what I thought to be my lucky day - and I often wonder if things wouldn't have ended the way they did, would she have been born already? How close would their birthdays have been? Would I be celebrating Addie's 3rd birthday at home with both of my girls or would I be celebrating her birthday as a expecting Mother? So many questions and only one answer..... I won't be celebrating any of those ways because she's gone. My baby is gone. My baby is dead.

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